socially distant

A short play by Seanan Palmero Waugh

Two people having a Zoom meeting. 

BOSS

Final question: how prepared are you to work from home indefinitely? 

EMPLOYEE

I’m a writer. I’m always prepared to work while not wearing pants. 

BOSS

Good to know.

EMPLOYEE

… I’m wearing them now. I planned on wearing jammies all day. But then I got your email and instead of working, pushed my laundry out of view for this meeting. I’m exhausted. And I have to follow up with Ted—

BOSS

Ted’s prioritizing childcare. 

EMPLOYEE

Then Kimberly—

BOSS

Caring for elderly parents. 

EMPLOYEE

Is anyone working?

BOSS

Other obligations. 

EMPLOYEE

I HAVE OTHER OBLIGATIONS!!!

BOSS

Kids?

EMPLOYEE

No.

BOSS

Parents?

EMPLOYEE

No.

BOSS

… Pets?

EMPLOYEE

Why is my life only worthy of care if I have dependents? 

BOSS

… So you can get back to work now, right?

EMPLOYEE

… Right. 

END OF PLAY